Right now, just sitting here, watching my K dramas (courtesy of Janice) and knitting away, its a lazy Sunday and its just bliss. :) Of course there's still that PARANOID mugger in me going, HELLO PAPER 4. and yes its propelled me to study on Monday for my LAST LAST paper. JIAYOU ME.

Anyway lately in my bible reading plan (I am at 1 Samuel now!!!! Finishing that soon whoo! :)) I came across this passage and it really spoke to me. In Literature, where my teacher always says, "If you come across a quote that seems significant to you, HIGHLIGHT it. Even if it doesnt seem like it links to a theme or whatever, just highlight it and think about it and maybe then you'll see the significance." So i.e. its kinda a gut feeling. So being the good literature student I am, I highlighted this part of my reading:

15 While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. 16 And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. 17 "Don't be afraid," he said. "My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this." (1 Samuel 23)

I think the parts that really jumped out at me were:

helped him find strength in God

I think that really spoke to me about what kind of a friend I want to be. David was probably in the throes of despair, the kind of despair thats like, okay-can-i-just-hide-under-the-blankets-and-hope-it-goes-away and Jonathan, his best friend came all the way out to Horesh to help him find strength in God. Its a good reminder, that we arent all as strong as we look, and that we too need to help others find strength in God. Not in the comforting words we provide, but we are the best friends, when we point others back to the strength and mercy and grace of God.

and I will be second to you

This is also really spoke at me. This must have been really difficult for Jonathan to say. He was the PRINCE of Israel and to say that he would soon be second to his best friend couldn't have been the easiest thing to admit. But he was obedient, he didnt let himself get blinded by his own security (however strong that was) in his current position. He acknowledged the will of God, so as to encourage his own friend, at the expense of his own pride and ego and security. And similarly thats something I want to learn along the way.

Everyone says that David was a great man of God which I dont deny, but I think having a good friend like Jonathan must have really helped.

Hope this spoke to you about being a better friend to those around you :)

Love,
sam
Yes I feel like I've abandoned my blog in such a long time, for Twitter hurhur. :P

Maybe its just cos there hasnt been much going on in my life lately except study, study and more study so a one-liner, or at least 140 characters adequately expresses my moments in the day in this period hence my shift to Twitter temporarily.

6.more.days.

Its crazily near, yet I'm trusting in His grace to pull me through completely when I'm rushing around to do this, do that and all.

That said, its time for some Arab Israeli conflict before bed.

Love,
sam
Just gonna do a quick recount of whatever's gone on this week, just some of the highlights I suppose:

FAREWELL.


And its kind of frustrating. Yet I guess God's bringing home the same message: trust in Him, surrender it all to Him, because He knows where I'm going and I dont. So it'd make more sense to trust in Him than in myself, my own head, my own heart.

I was just thinking last night in bed cos I couldnt sleep. If you knew you were being loved, it'd give you great excitement to get out of bed, because well each new day is a day you get to spend with, think about the one who loves you and the one who you (hopefully) love too! It'd be like... a frisson of energy, something that excites you even before the day has started. And then I had this thought: ALL of us have that. It's God. And yet its crazy, insane why sometimes we drag ourselves out of bed, dreading the day ahead, when God's longing for us to jump out of bed, exclaim that its a gorgeous day we cant wait to spend with Him.

So I guess thats a new prayer point for me: to be able to jump out of bed with new excitement, new joy and anticipation for the day ahead, because simply, its a new day to spend with God. :)

(Yes I know I think about really weird things if I cant sleep.)

There's been so many changes, so many things happening evolving. There's beauty and there's pain, disappointments and joy and yet I think, God is good. Its been a tough time, it still is. But knowing that God's there is the best of all.

you make all things new

A new, last week of school. Thank God for my amazing, crazy journey in SAJC. there's been so many people I've met along the way who've changed my life and I pray that I would have made the impact that I was placed there for rather than just wasting my time there. God help me to make the best use of my last week! :)

I had a good study day today too! 5 uninterrupted hours of study. For the first time I actually felt productive! :) HAHA.

Yes, be joyful my dear people. God loves you and so do I! Have an awesome amazing inspiring week ahead :)

Love,
sam
Its been a seriously crappy week. Been struggling with disappointment after disappointment, overwhelming frustration and yes, well hence the reason for the title. I've been in tears so much this week and I rarely cry so much so its just been pretty bad.

Thanks so much to Stace and Nicole, my two loves who've been there trying to cheer me up, telling me it doesnt matter and to keep going, being there and praying for me. And my beloved BC for keeping me in your prayers as well. To Joshua, for making me laugh when I'm like at my lowest ever with your lame jokes and nonsense and worrying about me. To Shaney who took me to play piano when I got so frustrated. To Ben and Samu and Nessa for understanding and encouraging me, you guys make school so much more bearable.

Its been a hard fall, my heart still struggles to believe that there IS a way out of this, that God will help me, but I'm getting there and I will be okay. I do know, that God is always there, He's watching out for me and therefore I will be okay. Like today's sermon on the futility of labour. It was so timely, every word that Adriel said was... incredibly Godsent. And thats proof enough that God loves me, He knows my needs and He will never give up on me.

Love,
sam
Yes I've been using that word left, right centre but it was really an eyeopening day for me! :D wow. haha. I went to see the Dead Sea Scrolls today with Rach, Loo Yee, Samu and Benedict and Chesed. I really thought at first it'd be darn boring and I actually thought I'd fall asleep during the lectures they gave okay! HAHA. but then, I think this is how God can take something seemingly mundane and change, transform it to something so wonderful! Indeed God knows so much better than I do man. :) Really thank God for this day.

I saw this manuscript at the exhibit... Had the first five books of the Bible (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deutronomy) on it! And after I saw it, there was this sign next to it which is below...

(click the pictures to enlarge okay!)



I doubt you guys can see what's written on the sign, but basically it says that if the priests who acted as the scribes, copying the scriptures, made ONE mistake, they would have to start from the beginning. Can you imagine, you're coming to the end of the Numbers and suddenly, out of fatigue you just write one character wrongly, and there's no such thing as liquid paper/correction tape and that means the WHOLE 4 BOOKS AGAIN. 0.0 Imagine the frustration and annoyance...

I was just blown away by that thought. Its insane. Like no wonder why the sign also says that the priests who took on this job did it very seriously and I was just amazed.

You know how many of us, rarely pick up our Bibles and just leave them to collect dust and yet such people before us took such great pains to copy, translate... I think if I was a scribe then and I saw how people treat their bibles now... I'd just MURDER people today man!

I've resolved to treasure my Bible more, not just because it contains precious wisdom from God, but also because so many saints before us have put in their own great effort into making the word of God accessible, Thank you God for this revelation and challenge and conviction! :D


This quote sums it all up really. Wow.



And my two favourite quotes I took back as well. I'm amazed at the wisdom of the people that came before us, really! Learned a great deal today and I was practically running everywhere to see everything. Thank you God.

Do try and go for it okay! I dont want to ruin the rest of it for you, but hehe, today was the 2nd last day and it might not be coming back to Singapore for like 62374627th years. I didnt say that the guide did. haha. but yes thank God for a great day of wisdom!

Love,
sam




Its over.

But everyone keeps telling me, dont lose steam! You've still got a good ways to go! And I'm explicitly clear of that myself. Lets keep going people. 17 essays in two weeks. That was insane but it'd be insane if I can pull that off during A's, and manage to walk out of the hall with nary a resigned-to-my-fate emotion, or the kind that says just-let-it-go-its-over sort of depression. I can do it! I know everyone believes in me and I know that God's on my side so I will push through.

Sigh. For the other people who're struggling too. Press on okay. I know its really the most worthless thing to say right now. I've discovered the cheapness (and yet at times uplifting quality) of word encouragement. But I've also discovered this week the terrible ache I feel for people who I just cant help, for people I'm forced to just watch struggle and rage and despair and I myself find myself despairing along with them as well because I'm literally helpless. I cant give any help and thats what tears at me too.

All I can give is just this: Dont look to yourself, look to God. I'll be here if you need me.

(You know who you are, this was for you.)

This week has been a sheer emotional rollercoaster. Up down, up down. And yet the fact that I'm out of it, is relief and the realization that God is mighty to save, that He has made me stronger than I believe. Of course, thanks to the people who steadfastly stood by me when I cried, when I threw tantrums, when I just didnt want to have anything to do with anyone or anything: Joshua, Nicole, Stace, Vanessa and too many others.

I'm blessed to have you all. I'd be insane without all of you, literally.

And most of all God. You've given me so much this period during Prelims, keeping me growing with new doors of opportunity, keeping me steadfast and I dont want to fall away from You in this lull in the storm. You're my Shelter and My Saving Grace. I owe you more than I could ever imagine or give. Love you so much <3

Love,
sam

1 JOHN 3:1-3 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.

samantha
17 years old
1st january 1992
49 day old njc-ian
proud ex-a01-er
romanis, saint
08a07-er
SFC
bc-ian
philotheo
gapper!
princess :P

angelina

bel

ben lau

benedict

chesed

celine

elly welly

glenda

liz

lizhu

lissya

nic

paul ooi

rachel

ronda

sarah

shaney

stacy

sls society

tessie bear

vanessa

xiang an

2e1

NJC PAE a01

SAJC 08a07 Literature -

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